P31: Day Thirty-One

Reflections and ponderings reviewing P31... :)

Well, here we are at the final day of this feature on beauty and virtue based off of the famed Proberbs 31 woman, a standard that many Christian ladies esteem and strive for. I'm not sure what I expected when I started this last August but I appreciate my followers joining me for this fun journey through the identity of womanhood.

I'm slightly disappointed at the direction that each post lead me. I assumed that P31 would be focused on the woman of scripture; the biblical text says a lot about womanhood and it would have been nice to explore that.

But, I have my own P31 study coming up in December! It's a re-vamped and re-purposed, more condensed feature focusing solely on womanhood as it relates to Christ through the example of the Proverbs 31 woman!

beauty quote of the day:

the most beautiful view is the one i share with you. (unknown)

P31: Day Thirty

Let's take this back to basics... read Proverbs 31 and then share about it!

Just a few observations I made :)

1. A virtuous wife is invaluable. So, I should learn about virtues.
2. This lady is trustworthy, hardworking, dedicated, and thoughtful.
3. She seeks the well-being of her family and husband daily.
4. She is compassionate to others in need.
5. These verses are about her character as much as her physical beauty.

The character, lifestyle, and relationships of the woman portrayed in this chapter of Proverbs is defining of a wonderful and wise woman who I desire to model after (her life is so glorifying and pure) because she models after Jesus (whom she has not met, for He hasn't even come yet).

beauty quote of the day:

truth, and goodness, and beauty are but different faces of the same all. (ralph waldo emerson)

P31: Day Twenty-Nine

What have you been listening to lately?

Top 4 songs (plus more) are here on my Youtube playlist called Paisley and Time! I'm seriously on a music kick again and my pallet is changing and growing and I could explode with how many great artists there are available! Sigh...

Kimbra: Settle Down

it's catchy and totally relate-able.

This Is the Kit: Two Wooden Spoons

melodramatic yet humble acoustic magic.

Gotye: Somebody That I Used to Know

i listen to it daily and wail along with it!

The Civil Wars: Poison and Wine

they jumped to my top 5 bands instantly!

adele| billie the vision and the dancers| iron and wine| jefferson starship| jimmy eat world| marilyn manson| simon and garfunkel| snow patrol| tegan and sara| the white stripes| coldplay| entertainment for the braindead| taking back sunday| pepper rabbit| the friendly sadness experience| dessa| sharon van etten| regina spektor| broken bells| gungor| mumford and sons|marah in the mainsail|  the honey trees| edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros| the clash| lost prophets| joanna newsom| norma jean| sia furler| the lost colors| joss stone| dusty springfield| florence and the machine| and many others that i'm too tired to add now :)

beauty quote of the day:

beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye. (grey livingston)

P31: Day Twenty-Eight

A day in the life.... of being a live-in nanny for my sister!

I am half way through my 3 weeks of nanny life before I fully move out on my own into this big, bad world. Living with my sister, Stephanie, her boyfriend (Caleb, who travels for work, and has only been home a few hours out of the last 2 weeks) and my 2 nephews (Nathan, 11, and Kaleb, 8) has been interesting and honestly has been a great experience so far! In fact my schedule is balancing out and becoming normal again (and with my need for structure and consistency it's an added bonus). Basically, I wake up at 6:00 in the morning, but just lay there and listen to my sister and Nathan argue until he leaves for school at 6:55; then she leaves for work at 7:30. When 8:00 rolls around it's time for Kaleb to get up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, (I pack his lunch, drink coffee, and read the paper) and he's out the door by 8:50! Then I have the house to myself until around 3 when the craziness picks up again.

During the day I clean, do laundry, plan dinner, or sometimes explore the neighborhood but most of the time I troll the Tumblr realms and stay updated on my favorite blogs! After school it's homework, getting ready for football (both kids play) cooking dinner and after practice or games it's showers, bed and then it all starts again! Learning to fairly judge and discipline is not easy, but most days are not too difficult. I'm excited to finish this out, and maybe this will get me some experience so that I can get an official--and paid--nanny position. I think  I really might be interested in pursuing this while working to pay off my student loan and figure out what I want to do with life.

beauty quote of the day:

you'll make all the fashion statements, just by dressing up your mind. (jason mraz: the beauty in ugly)

P31: Day Twenty-Seven

How do you decorate your beautiful home?

I'm finally moving out of my mom's house and into a place with a few gals from college so this is the perfect time to start thinking about how I want to decorate my space! And I'm really lucky because the house is perfect! It's kinda old, kinda shabby (in a homey kind of way) and I love it's charm and candor. 

I want to create a beautiful space that expresses the things in life that I find inspiring. My goal is to be thrifty and crafty--making most of my own decorations! Here are some of my inspirations!

beauty quote of the day:

in every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. (christopher morley)

P31: Day Twenty-Six

What did you want to be when you grew up?

A leader.

I've always identified myself as a follower, unable to gain the respect of my peers and unsure of how to change. Honestly, I felt like a nobody most of my middle and high school years. It wasn't often that I caught a glimpse of how my life touched others; I didn't realize that people noticed me. And I really wanted to influence others! Even now as a young adult I desire to lead others; to share my passions and incite passion in them!

I also wanted to be a dancer, and book store/coffee shop owner. Then English teacher. Then study psychology. Then Criminology. Back to English, then gym teacher finally landing in ministry. 

What did you want to be when you grow up?

Ps. Do we ever grow up? :)

beauty quote of the day:

our hearts are drunk with a beauty our eyes could never see. (george w. russell)

P31: Day Twenty-Five

What inspires you? What are you currently loving? From fashion, to music, to nature and anything else you can think of! As always... PICTURES!!!

beauty quote of the day:

like charity, i believe glamour should begin at home. (Loretta Young)

P31: Day Twenty-Four

How's life?

Life is beyond confusing right now. My cellphone is turned off because my mom can't afford to pay our bills; she can't even put food on the table or make the mortgage payment. So September 1st she is cutting our cable, house line, and probably our internet too. Hopefully moving out will help too. One less mouth to feed, one less person showering and using electricity, one less person driving the car all over (maintenance and gas), one less person in the way. 

I know it's not easy on her. She has a lot going on with her life too; most of which I don't even know about. I guess I hope that moving out makes our relationship stronger. It won't fix it, and I can't count on it to change anything really. Honestly I miss being in college when on weekends I could come home, spend some time with my mom and then leave again. But she was always just a phone call away. I feel farther away from her now that I'm living in her house than I did before.

Tomorrow her and I are going to sit down and talk about what I'm doing with my phone. I don't think it's wise to go to San Francisco without a cell phone. And with limited funds I don't think I can afford to get my own plan. Jordan mentioned the idea of trading my computer (which he was considering buying from me) for his old smartphone and then paying me the difference. It would be nice because I'd have my phone and internet right there in my pocket, all the time. But I don't know if I can afford a data plan and I hate the idea of not having all of my pictures and music with me. Even if I upload the files to my Sky Drive through my email, they are only available temporarily. 

On the brightside my school loan repayments are decreased for October through March so I only have to pay the interest. That helps quite a bit but I still have to figure out how to pay for September. I have enough money to pay it but that leaves nothing left to live off of. So instead of paying on the first like I usually do I will wait til I get to San Francisco and see what I have once I get there.

Speaking of seeing what I have when I get there... did I mention that I currently have no home or job when I arrive? That's right. There is no one on the other side to meet me or pick me up from the bus station. As much as I'd like to be able to travel homelessly like Kaleb I don't think that is best for a small town girl from backwoods Minnesota. The plan right now is to stay the first night in a hostel and then show up to the church and meet and greet and hopefully someone will open their home to me. 

It's not a great plan; but I have to trust that God will provide for me. Of course I haven't spent any time with Him on this since July. Sure, I've had a few days where in studying scripture it's seemed like this is His will and that this is right, but I haven't prayed. I'm giving myself a week to have a home (even if it's still temporary) and if not then I suppose I'll get a bus back to Minnesota. I don't even know if I want to go anymore. I mean I want to but I'm so afraid of letting people down again or failing. It would be so easy to just start over right here in Minnesota. 

And when I look at it now I realize that living here right now, today, isn't that much different than what I'll be living like in SF. I don't have a job. Yeah, I have a home. And I have connections (my life is swarming with people who love and care) to rely on. I have the freedom to stay at moms, or move out. I guess I didn't see how many options I had before me until now. Because that was part of my desire to leave in the first place; I saw my life on one track, without enough other options before me and I got scared. 

Would it be so bad to just stay? To get a new job, or 3 and build up my savings, my own phone, eventually get my own place, pay off my loan, get back to school, and get "back on track"? None of that is going to be easy either. I can do that in SF too, but at what cost? Leaving my family? My friends? My church and any other form of structure or security I have? To gain what? To say that I did it on my own? Maybe. 

Janell, remember this: "I used to think all of this stuff was valuable until I realized what Christ has done. Yeah, everything else is worthless when compared to Him. Because of Jesus I have discarded everything, counting it as garbage, because now I can have and be one with Him."

Sure, it's freaking scary to be doing this alone, without a plan, without money, without every thing you're told you need. But this is a step of faith! Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1) And we are made right with God by our faith. (Phil 3:9c) If I have no doubt that this is God's will then I should have no doubt that He has it under control. I hope that I'm not wrong; I hope that this brings me closer to God. I want to be radical for him. More than my life limits me because He is bigger than my life.

Alrighty. So, that's pretty much my life right now.

beauty quote of the day:

Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings. (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross)

P31: Day Twenty-Three

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

I'm beginning to dislike these questions that make me focus so much on myself. When I was younger I spent hours upon hours self-examining myself through personality tests, psychology books, or anything else that gave me insight into me. Which meant that I at one point had all these answers mapped out and ready to go. But it's harder to look at myself on my own now and see everything that the quizzes and studies said. So, I'm gonna look at one of my qualities and explore the strengths and weaknesses of being so darn positive!

strength: glass overflowing allows me to see the best in everyone; makes me a lighthearted and joyful person to be around. my gift of encouragement pours from this pot of positivity. 

weakness: I have a hard time relating to people in times of sadness and hardship; it's probably annoying to others. I tend to count on my attitude to help others without my extra (intentional) efforts.

So, what are your strengths and weaknesses? How do they affect you and your relationships? 

beauty quote of the day:

Poetry is something to make us wiser and better, by continually revealing those types of beauty and truth, which God has set in all men's souls. (James Russell Lowell)

P31: Day Twenty-Two

Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.

Originally this post was to be in the context of meeting the need in your community but because I am leaving Minnesota I figured that I would write about this instead. Every day my life is touched and touches others. Others who are hurting, sad, confused, frustrated, angry, bitter, prideful, selfish, lusting, and broken. It's my responsibility to steward my life in a way that glorifies God and allows him to use me to meet others needs.

"Our natural way is to treat others how we think they ought to be treated (never mind the verses in James 2 where we are called to live lives against partiality and favoritism). He challenges us to give better than they deserve. That idea is simple yet something worth pausing over. Give more than they need? I always look at how to help someone but I don't think about how to do more for them than they ask. It's a bit of a radical call if you ask me. I hope I get a chance to do it, too!" [excerpt from this post I wrote for Speak Love].

Our lives are a walking ministry to others. Help others by living consciously and thoughtfully. Ask God to show you the need of others around you (whether you've known them your whole life, or only a moment in passing on the street) then ask him to challenge you to go above and beyond what they need or ask for.

beauty quote of the day:

think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. (Anne Frank)

P31: Day Twenty-One

To my future husband:

I am so unworthy of the love you have for me. And I thank God now for you. Whatever you experience or go through before we meet is perfectly purposed and I can't wait to get to know you. And to serve you with the love that Christ placed in me. 

Love, In Christ, your future wife,

Janell.

[note: I plan on re-posting this with a deeper, more honest and full letter. I'm just overwhelmed with life right now to think about the amazing man God will give me to one day!]

beauty quote of the day:

it is part and parcel of every man's life to develop beauty in himself. all perfect things have in them an element of beauty. (Henry Ward Beecher)

P31: Day Twenty

Write about your job and why you love or hate it.

In uniform, taken about 8mo. ago.

I just quit my job at McDonald's where I have been for the last 14 months because of my upcoming move across the country. Before resigning I was the hostess and that means that my primary responsibilities are to greet and provide our guests with stellar service as well as maintaining a cleanly and friendly environment and experience. Simply put I get to hang out with our customers and clean all day. It was a good fit for me because I am more detail-oriented than some of my other peers (as far as cleaning above and beyond what's expected of me) and because I am polite, personable and positive with my co-workers and customers. I genuinely care for everyone I worked with or that I got to serve. Before being made the hostess I spent nearly every day in the back drive through taking orders, cashing out all drive through orders, as well as other misc. cleaning and dishes. I enjoyed that too because I can work at my own pace, as well as at a fast, engaging pace with the short time I get to spend interacting with our drive through customers. Although I was most often put into the back "bubble" I know almost all of the other positions outside of maintenance and kitchen. From fries, to McCafe, to running and presenting orders I am confident in my abilities in nearly all areas. I do regret not getting my SOC (station certifications) for them, and not getting trained in the kitchen but I don't hold it against my store. In the short time I was there we went through some major transitional changes and I am understanding. I loved my job at McDonald's because I worked with great people, and served great customers. There are things that I wish were different, that I don't like about it as well, but it was a satisfying and happy place to work. Forget the social stigma of working in fast food, because just like any job in any field, it is what you put into and pull from it. 

What do you love or hate about your job? 

beauty quote of the day:

beauty comes from a life well lived. If you've lived well, your smile lines are in the right places, and your frown lines aren't too bad. (Jennifer Garner)

P31: Day Nineteen

Favorite comfort food!

Nutella. Enough said. If' you've never tried it, do.

 

beauty quote of the day:

beauty awakens the soul to act. (Alex Comfort)

P31: Day Eighteen

Describe your personality!

I am incredibly positive. "My glass is neither half-filled or half-emptied but rather overflowing" is often how I have described it positivity. Out of that stems my natural and god-given ability to encourage which is another huge part of my personality. I like to think of myself as hospitable and servant-hearted. One of my best friends Mariah has told me that I am not quick to judge others and that I am able to friend a wide variety of people; I'd agree! I've got a bit of the "savior" complex and like to think of ways to help everyone get where they want to go, help them accomplish and achieve their dreams. I think that's part of the activator in me. Since I was young, grade school even, I have wanted to be a leader though I think I am a better follower. The problem is I see something, and have this ability to envision what more could be done to improve it. It doesn't matter what it is (from a speech, to a video, to leading a small-group etc) I see how it can be done bigger and better. Hmmm, I'm sure there are plenty of other traits I could write about but I think I've had enough self-worship. Note that all of my awareness to these traits in my personality are because God opened my eyes to see myself as  His creation!

beauty quote of the day:

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty- they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. (Martin Buxbaum)

P31: Day Seventeen

Post about 3 things that make you happy.


externally, material things that make me happy would be as follows:
photography 
i like to take, and view it.
music
listening to and supporting it.
coffee shops
finding and exploring them.

but I am most happy when:
i am helping others.


It's hard to write about things that make you happy when you're not feeling particularly in that mindset. I'm really stressed about moving in a few weeks and not being ready.

beauty quote of the day:

Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears. (Edgar Allen Poe)

P31: Day Sixteen

Write to your daughter or a young girl in your life: tell her what beauty means.

Dearest Haley,
My niece, you are beautiful. You are humble, sweet, genuine, caring and thoughtful of others. Beauty is something that we do, just as much as what we are. Beauty is not contained in clothes, or make up, or even in photographs. It's contained in memories that touch your heart. 
Love, 
Your aunty, Janell.


beauty quote of the day:
It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength. (Maya Angelou)

P31: Day Fifteen

To Katherine:

My dear aunt, and sister in Christ, I write to you so that you may be encouraged and strengthened by the work of God in my life! Our time together was wonderful. Thank you for inviting me into your life for a day and your family's as well. Those moments in church were soul-satisfying; a community of deep faith--you're lucky to be there! Don't be frightened to reach out to your family there. Pray that God lead you to (or someone to you) who can guide and counsel you in your new life in Christ and never give up that God will bring just the right person to you! Don't be discouraged when others resist you.

Pray the same for your husband as well. Just don't take it out on him when he doesn't get it. God is working in His life differently and at a different pace. And from personal experience, that is frustrating and can become a wedge between your love for each other if you don't place God above your desire for your husband to be better. I am not married but coming out a relationship where I fought the Lord to change a boy I cared about deeply (maybe even loved) took its toll on me spiritually. You are reborn. Live in that, and wait with patient confidence that the same will happen in your loved one's lives as well.

My heart breaks for your family. I come to you, just as messed up and broken, but with hope. Hope that God is our perfecter and he is our righteousness. Let him recreate you. Know when to speak up, when to act, and when to let go. Sometimes we try to manage our lives, and others too when really what we need is to take our hands away from the busy work of getting things done and doing things right. Also, slow down. You'll find peace in the moments you pause and savor; Christ is in the stillness of life just the same as the rushing, active parts! 

"For you have a special place in my heart. God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. I pray that your love will overflow more and more and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding." (Phil 1ish)

Blessings,

In Christ, 

Your niece and sister, Janell.

beauty quote of the day:

The pain passes, but the beauty remains. (Pierre August Renoir)

P31: Day Fourteen

Style! This is what I wore today :)

beauty quote of the day:

If the world could remain within a frame like a painting on the wall, I think we'd see the beauty then and stand staring in awe. (Conor Oberst)

P31: Days Twelve and Thirteen :)

1. What wears you out as a woman?

annnnnd

2. What's something you'd like to change about yourself for the better?

Well, first there is a looong list of things that wear on me. The heaviest burdens lately that have been relational. If you've known me for a while you know that my family situation is quite complex and often times frustrating. Most recently the drama of moving mixed with meeting my cousin (my uncle and his wife/children are somewhat estranged from the family for various reasons) has been exhausting, though very rewarding. Yesterday was one of the most wonderful days of my life and I will treasure the moments that I spent with my cousins and aunt forever; I fear that it might be the first and only time I get with them for a while. It breaks my heart to see so much hurt in their lives both in their home, and in the things that are affecting them. All I can do is pray and trust that Jesus will recreate them and restore their relationships and have no fear! Katherine, if you read this know that I love you and can't wait to see how God "brings to completion the good work he began in you" because I've seen a vision for your family, and it's beautiful.

I'm thankful for the time we spent together because I feel like she is in a place to deeply understand my call to San Francisco. Honestly, I feel like most everyone else doesn't and can't understand my motivations and true reason for going. I use the church as a convenient and tangible way for others to measure this adventure, but really the only way to measure it is through the Spirit. This is a spiritual mission of mine. I'm seeking the Lord there. By changing my location, I will be changed (this is how life works, right?) but this is about changing in my heart before and through God. I'll have to organize my thoughts on this and post it on my other blog: a foreigner in the land.

What changes? Oh boy, that's a long list too. Most of it is unseen but a few external changes for myself are mingled in too. I'd like to be physically healthier. I wish I used my time more effectively. If only I didn't get so lazy and slack on cleaning my room. And I'd love to be better about thinking before I speak, following through with my commitments and be a better rememberer (I'm terribly forgetful). Spiritually, I desire to be more consistent, more prayerful, and to be more disciplined in seeking God intimately.

I've tried time and time again to construct my life to change my heart, but only God can do that.

beauty quote of the day:

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? (Lily Tomlin)

P31: Day Eleven

Share a recipe!

I just made this last night! It's an Almond-Coconut Frosting that I decorated on vanilla cupcakes for mom's early birthday treat! Last night, because I was lazy and am out of powdered sugar I used store-bought vanilla frosting as my base, but love this simple buttercream frosting from here. I also added pure almond extract and coconut flakes until I reached the desired texture and flavor I wanted! Oh! And for color I used the red-sugar sprinkles and mixed those in too! Gives the frosting an extra little crunch and sweetness. Yum!

1 cup butter, softened
3-4 cups powdered sugar
1-2 Tablespoons milk or half and half
1 teaspoon vanilla

In large mixing bowl, beat butter until fluffy. Add three cups sugar, 1 Tablespoon milk, and vanilla. Beat until combined and fluffy. Adjust with more sugar or milk, depending on what consistency you’re looking for.

Tonight, I warmed the left over frosting and added extra coconut to the mixture. Then spread it over a mini cake (well, it's cake baked in a mini-bread pan) to share with the family for mom's real birthday! Here are some pictures!





beauty quote of the day:
everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. (Confucius)