Conviction, Submission, Confession

If you've read my latest post (me: in A-Z) then you were maybe a little bit shocked to discover some surprising secrets that I've held locked tightly inside me for a great length of time. I'm amazed at the distances that we will go to in order to hide our sins; I lied, told-half truths, or completely ignored these specific sins for 2 years. Now that this is coming to light it's obvious that even some of my closest friends were in the dark. Today I wanted to share with you some of the context to those confessions and the share their significance. But also to share the sufficient grace that God is abundantly pouring out over my life through conviction and confession. 

Understanding repentance is something that does not come easy to me. And understanding the love of God is an even more foreign concept. But the last 2 months have been a true testimony to the way that the Lord is faithfully unrelenting. You might remember that I was fully intending to move to San Francisco, California in September. There isn't a doubt in my heart and mind that it was a testing of my faith (just like God called Abraham to sacrifice Isaac--sparing Isaac's life when Abraham was faithful and obedient). I bring this up because the hope that I had, knowing that God would satisfy and answer me, has come not out of moving but in staying.

me: in A-Z

Found another one of these that was going around Tumblr and couldn't resist!


A: What is your life ambition?

I want to be a leader, and good steward of the area's God's given to me as a creature of influence.{what the heck does that mean?!}

B: Have you ever been beat up? Have you beat anyone else up?

Uhhhh, aside from catfights and other more violent mischief in middle school I don't have a terribly strong history of beating others up. There was a girl I smacked around after she turned me into the counselor {i had an addiction to self-injury} and in high school I threw a guy against the wall and slapped him because he had spent the last 2 years calling me a druggy {i was "straight-edge}.

C: Last time you cried?

Hmm, I don't remember. Last month some time. I don't cry often. {that's a lie}.

D: Are you afraid of death?

Sometimes.

vagabond

vagabond

I am a wandering soul

or so I have been told.

I walk a fine line,

a lifeline, a tether;

one silly red ribbon

cut to pieces and tossed into the wind,

like bread crumbs

leading a trail 

down the rabbit hole

on a personal note:

I know the month is now half-over and so this post is slightly off-dated but I couldn't help it. So, I don't even know where to begin. This entry has been written, re-written and started over a few too many times in the last few weeks. Well here's this month in short (just to catch you up a bit)... I'm far to tired to write something poised and scripted to literary excellence.

Justin and I have been hanging out like crazy the last few weeks. We see each other almost every other day. He's making my life a movie cliche. But I don't mind. One Thursday when I went downtown to meet with my mom he and I met up; he introduced me to his friend Greg (who is nearly blind, a recovering addict and unbelievably friendly). We walked around the skyways until we dropped Greg off. Then Justin and I had quite the adventure! We walked to the river front and on the way we stopped at the post office, which led to a mini-adventure in attempts to solve a mysterious robbery for a reward of $1000. Once we abandoned the challenge we headed to Mill City Ruins Park, made fun of the people on Segways, then crossed to the other side of the river.

P31: Day Thirty-One

Reflections and ponderings reviewing P31... :)

Well, here we are at the final day of this feature on beauty and virtue based off of the famed Proberbs 31 woman, a standard that many Christian ladies esteem and strive for. I'm not sure what I expected when I started this last August but I appreciate my followers joining me for this fun journey through the identity of womanhood.

I'm slightly disappointed at the direction that each post lead me. I assumed that P31 would be focused on the woman of scripture; the biblical text says a lot about womanhood and it would have been nice to explore that.

But, I have my own P31 study coming up in December! It's a re-vamped and re-purposed, more condensed feature focusing solely on womanhood as it relates to Christ through the example of the Proverbs 31 woman!

beauty quote of the day:

the most beautiful view is the one i share with you. (unknown)

P31: Day Thirty

Let's take this back to basics... read Proverbs 31 and then share about it!

Just a few observations I made :)

1. A virtuous wife is invaluable. So, I should learn about virtues.
2. This lady is trustworthy, hardworking, dedicated, and thoughtful.
3. She seeks the well-being of her family and husband daily.
4. She is compassionate to others in need.
5. These verses are about her character as much as her physical beauty.

The character, lifestyle, and relationships of the woman portrayed in this chapter of Proverbs is defining of a wonderful and wise woman who I desire to model after (her life is so glorifying and pure) because she models after Jesus (whom she has not met, for He hasn't even come yet).

beauty quote of the day:

truth, and goodness, and beauty are but different faces of the same all. (ralph waldo emerson)