Nibbling

You're like a peach: wonderful and beautiful. But there's a part of you that I don't understand. I am afraid of just chomping down on our relationship because I have done this before; my teeth have brushed this core before. I don't know how to approach it and you always seem to dismiss it. I'll never be able to reach it. And I'll never let anyone touch mine. I am forced to treat our friendship lightly so that we are okay. We can only continue nibbling about the edges.

>>Levi wrote this to me. I remember reading the message while at work and being nearly moved to tears. It was true, all of the words. They were so sweet. Candid. True.

illuminate

In my closet, I close my eyes and hide; 

the darkness is the perfect place to disguise my tears, 

and the ugliness I feel inside. 

An Old Friend calls to me,

 beckoning my attention, 

inviting me back to the familiar addiction. 

The memories raise the hairs on the back of my neck, 

my arms crawl with anticipation; 

oh, how sweet it will feel to hold you in my hands again. 

My head drops into my hands and I clutch my pen tightly. 

This could be what separates flesh from bone tonight.

To feel your touch on my arms sends cold heat surging over my body and my stomach turns over. 

Gentle and soft, like a whisper or a leaf falling, did you have to come back now?

 The only light to illuminate this hole is trickling in from the space between the door and the wall. 

There isn't so much as a flicker inside this heart tonight.
7-26-10