God, where is my passion? My drive? My desire? I feel so numb. I do
not even feel the pure joy that a year ago and more I could not
contain. This summer has been a break down of my joy. I have come to
the waters but they are still. I know that they are rushing
somewhere...but not here. The water at my feet is still and the only
movement comes from the ripples created by my restless shifting
weight. God, this is not like you...you are not restless or still or
dispassionate.
Am I in the wrong place? What is the source of this
water that I am at? What good is the water if You are not the
source? Are the headwaters of this pool waters of worldliness or waters of selfishness? Please pull me from this stagnant water. Though only deep enough to
cover my toes I am still drowning. Clinging to dying, fruitless trees
to keep me from going under I am dying too. Help me let go! I want to
cling to you! Not these logs!
You are living and perfect and far more
satisfying than these waters.
You are far more satisfying than the
company of this dying forest. Bring me to Your mighty and rushing,
beautifully turbulant, living and moving waters. They will never fail
to quench my thirst! I want to drink, splash, play, dance, kneel, pray
in the rivers of righteousness. God, You are living water.
I am alive, but not living.
Change my heart, Lord.
