Another Loose End

It occurred to me tonight that I should not be bound. I cannot be tied, tethered or chained. I've claimed to be a wandering soul, never lost but always searching, and yet I am beyond content to sit in my cozy, hermit-hole and live virtually. My heart is starved for adventure, explorations and discovering this world.

This winter has been one of warmth 

and perfect weather for traveling.

But daily I'm content to sleep away my mornings 

(the hazy glow of the sun behind my curtain lace is too 

enticing and beautiful to miss by leaving the confines of my bed)

while sipping endless amounts of  c o f  f e e  at my desk in the afternoon. 

Even as I write this now I am indian-style on my worn floor with tea, 

now chilled from the late night hours! Why? 

I'm pleading with myself and there is no reason that I can fathom to excuse myself. A thread of my existence is afraid to leave home because honestly, I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself not to go searching for him. Perhaps the thought of crossing paths by chance thrills me but also terrifies me. And there is a part of me that believes I can't adventure with out him; that it won't be the same. Ah, but it's coming back to me now: the peace I found when wandering vaguely familiar streets alone. I remember a time when I was content to drive in my car for miles and miles; it didn't matter where I was going as long as I was in  m o t i o n. There is freedom in being able to stop and stare in awe of a rundown building re-purposed. There is freedom in walking in the footsteps of millions of others but remaining anonymous.

a n o n y m o u s

There is freedom in seeing sights innumerable eyes have seen.

And there is freedom in witnessing what others have never seen. 

This is the end of endless hours in front of a screen; the end of virtual me.This is my loose end and resolution: to untangle myself from virtual living and to tie myself to life lived out.

places i'll go {one day}
Chicago, IL
San Francisco, CA
Portland, OR
Seattle, WA

Saturday, darling, you belong to me.