July, August and introducing... September?

hello lovely friends and followers

It's been quite a while since I wrote here and admittedly it's been intentionally avoided. But tonight I'm feeling the familiar feels of instability, confusion, and apathetic frustration. I'll save the drama for a much-needed garbage day post and just catch you up on what you've missed in my life this summer... most of it anyways!

Kianna, the girl I was mentoring through the non profit in St. Paul, and I went to Lake Calhoun back in June; I think that was the last time that we actually got together. I started working three jobs and I pretty much dropped off with her. We just got reconnected through Facebook (she sought me out!) and I'm hoping to step back into her life as a positive role model* this fall. 

Also in June I went to a Tumblr party and met some of the neatest people ever (I'll get to them in a minute). In this post I briefly wrote about that moving to Minneapolis and what that was all about so take a look if you don't recall... I'm sure I'll dig back through more thoughts on that later too.

Started July by going to Valley Fair with my sister, my nephews, and their close friends-of-family. It was a blast! I mostly hung out with the kids (below) going on as many rides as possible but managed to spend some time with my sister too. No doubt about it though I loved being a little brat with my two nephews the most though... look how handsome they are! 

July also brought about another meeting of the Soul Sistaaasssssss! Mariah, Tina, Elise, and I got together the weekend of my birthday at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts and then had lunch at The Bad Waitress. 

It's not easy to get the 4some together but when we do it's worth it. I'll share more about our adventure that day in a later post (and I'll be sure to link to it when it's available).

I turned the big ol' 21 and I even had a party with my "new friends" (whom I've already seemed to fallen off with... I'm burning a lot of bridges lately). We started the night grilling at my house, went to Applebee's and then ended the night at Chelsea's house. Most of my photos from the night didn't turn out well but here are some that my friends posted afterwards. 

The day after mine is Justin's birthday so we went to the Mall of America and celebrated together. Legoland, Caribou, and the Doc Martin store were definitely some high lights from that trip! 

more recent updates:

I moved (again). I got a boyfriend. We live together... with 5 other roommates. I never would have thought I would end up with some one like him but  he treats me better than any man has in the last 4 years and I feel secure, confident, and happy with him. We started seeing each other in mid June when I invited him to a party and we kinda sorta hooked up and were pretty much inseparable since. 

Okay, that wasn't so bad... maybe I can still blog and share my life with people. I don't have to lead this double life anymore. Slowly, very slowly, I feel like I'm merging myself together (even though I feel like I'm falling apart).

with love and sentiments

xoxo

tune-in Tuesday

I'm horrible about sharing music on here but it's time for one more Tune-in Tuesday. This is where I feature new, new to me, and artists that I've found a renewed love for! Sometimes it's local bands and sometimes it's big-hit artists that are over played on the radio. This time I'm digging Sara Lov.

Sara Lov was one half of 90s pop band Devics which is where she developed her sound and style according to her official website though following her Facebook seems to stay more current. Most information is outdated (from last year). There's not much more to say in all honesty. On a whim I picked up her Seasoned Eyes Were Beaming album (which is her debut solo release, 2009); frankly, I looked at the cover art and just guessed that it might be something that I'd be into. It's a sing-songy blend of original tracks that partner opaque, allegorical lyrics with a cover of Simon and Garfunkel... so it's just up my alley. She released a ten-track album of covers in 2011 and I haven't listened yet but one review didn't exactly give it high praises (it's an interesting article so you should take read). If you're interested in sampling I Already Love you try listening at Last.fm.

A Thousand Bees is one of the most catchy tunes from the album though Animals is my favorite track. Give it a listen and if you fancy, let me know what you think by leaving me a comment below!

            on another note:             

American Youth released a new track from their upcoming ep! I featured them a short while back and you can read that here. Guys, this is wonderful and I can't wait to hear more from these kids... until next time darlings!

Oh, June.

OH.

I moved.

Did I forget to mention that? Then you're obviously not my friend on Facebook or a follower on my Tumblr and Twitter! Friends and family were surprised when I told them I moved; it was both a long time coming and a sudden event because while I have wanted to move for a while now I didn't think it would actually happen. Mid May I replied to a post on Craigslist and they contacted me right away!

It was a hassle to get a few hours off from work so I could check the place out and meet my potential roommates but $50 later I convinced my coworker to cover 3 hours of my shift. I could go on for at least 4 more paragraphs fawning over how I fell in love with it but instead I'll just let you see for yourself! 

I challenged my Tumblr followers to like my post and I would share a video giving a tour of my room. Well. That's that. Unfortunately there is quite a bit more behind this post than a exciting news and a fun video. 

I  couldn't afford to live there at the time when I started looking for a new place to live; my search for a second job was unsuccessful and moving was the next option. I had family that I could stay with but none of them were great options for me. There are a lot of unhealthy dynamics in most of my family that I don’t care to be a part of. Though I love and adore them without second breath. 

Another reason for moving because I have this need for change; I think it’s because when I was very young we moved around a lot. If you know me at all you'll know that I'm a bit of a wanderer and the desire to move isn't new. Remember when I had that plan to move to Joplin, MO with Kirstin? And that time I almost took a bus to San Francisco? 

Lastly, I honestly didn't want to go home anymore. After I got the second job I could have afforded it… but I got a third job so that I didn’t have time to “be home”. I'm an introvert with trust and intimacy issues and a big avoidance problem. I’m actually surprised that I’m sharing any of this right now. I didn't like having so many people pushing on the borders of my life and questioning my lifestyle. And further… I felt suffocated by their faith. I needed to distance myself from it all. Okay, that's enough. I can't handle any more talk about the deep things in my life. I'm too content to keep it shallow.

what you missed in May...

This is a day for reflecting. I started this year with the idea that I would tie up ends left flagrant and to untangle myself from whatever it is that I have become bound to; it's no secret that I haven't been even been remotely intentional in these pursuits. I'm doing my best to avoid these things actually. But I'll sort through that after things settle down for me... adding 2 jobs this month has dynamically shifted my schedule. I'm one who loves change and seeks it cautiously, but runs when it finds me. 

     life in photos, and other things     

Justin has been gone all month visiting his sister who lives in Florida. He comes home next week and honestly I am thrilled. With the way that I am withdrawing from most of my social circles this is one relationship that I still put effort in... even if it doesn't seem like it. I've always been someone be friends or at least acquaintances with everybody. But I've take a turn for the introvert and now only invest in few relationships. Anyway, we've been talking of a road trip for our birthdays (which are a day apart) in July. I remember freaking out when he told me his birthday was just a day after mine.

Kianna, the girl that I started mentoring in March, and I have been having some fun adventures lately. We went for a walk around Central Park and took these cute photos! I can't believe this gorgeous girl is only 15; she's so sweet and bright, and reminds me of myself at that age.

Hannah, my newest roommate, and I went canoeing one afternoon. It was warm and sunny and beautiful. I won't share the photos after we went swimming though... my make up was more than streaked down my face! I loved being out on the water with the golden sun setting our course for the beach across the lake; this is something I could definitely do again! PS. We even made plans to sneakily swim across the lake at midnight! Dun-dun-dun!

For Memorial Day weekend I made an impropmtu trip up to the family cabin; every 3 weekend holiday of the summer (Memorial, Indepence and Labor day weekends) my uncle John has a pig roast. It's a big deal for our family and family friends. On a whim I swept up Arianna to take her with me. Turns out we were a day late! So we headed over to my uncle Al's cabin for the night. I took these sneaky shots of my cousin Jess and her son, Eamon and Arianna and my cousin Brian. Not the most flattering photos but I don't think you mind! Right?

These last few are from Monday when Kianna and I went to a Twins game at the new Target Feild. We had seats behind home plate but waayyyyyy at the top of the seats. Considering both of us have an insane fear of heights (oh, and balance issues as well) it's a wonder we even made it up there! Since it was her first game ever, and only my second I think it's important to mention that neither of us knows a lick about the sport of Baseball so most of the time we just people watched and talked; and took some cute pictures together of course! We left before the game ended but it's safe to say that it was time well spent.

Phew! That's quite the post... thanks for reading :) I can't wait to see what June brings! Also, did you know that you can comment on my blog? If you don't have a google id or blogger account just submit it anonymously (make sure to put your name in your comment so I know who you are though; It won't appear right away but I'll publish it after I read it! 

am i alone?

Oh, hello again! It feels good to be writing on my blog again. This is something that I do mostly for my own sanity. It feels safe here.

Anyways, I wanted to share these photos from March. I know it's a bit late but with the cold weather a few weeks ago and the recent stormy activity I am craving the beautiful, breezy sunshine we had a while back! Justin took these when we went for a walk around Nicollet Island.

 After the walk I joined my brother for a Timberwolves game. While I don't watch sports on my own I love spending time with my family. The quality time is what is important to me; it's one of my love languages (my primary is Words of Affirmation). A friend brought it up that our love language is pretty much the antidote to our "lie"... whatever it is that we believe to be true that we live and function out of.  My lie is that "I am alone."

That lie is a question that everything in my life is attempting to prove wrong. Unknowingly I am asking myself, "am I alone?"  But the things that I've experienced in the past have convinced me that it's true; there is nothing that can make me believe differently. It's in the process of bringing that lie to the front (literally) of my brain and dealing with it cognitively that I can override it's false-truth. My question and lie are stained into my habit and nature. Interesting, huh? 

aaaaand moving on! Gah! This is the face that Justin makes at me most of the time usually after I say or do something that is both adorable and uncool. He's in Florida visiting his sister for a month or so. Who am I going to dork around this city with this summer?  Oh, and did you check out the latest tune-in Tuesday? Well, that's all for now! I love you, darlings!