Dear friends,
I am failing. I am a failure.
But my King stands victorious, triumphing over everything that comes before me!
Just thought I would say something.
Oh, and I am quitting my job. Kinda.
As deeply as I want to be one of those kids who can do it all, I can't.
I have been working about forty hours a week and trying to do one class.
I have to start the other 2 classes this weekend or else I'm going to fall behind.
So, I am going to cut my hours at work. I'm going to dip out of our social times.
And I am going to desperately need accountability. I often times put off the things I need to do.
I have a hard time saying no. I am really good at procrastinating. I'm the best at being late.
Jesus has been being put on hold in my life and that disgusts me! I want to put Him first!
Who can do all these things? Pursue Christ, Career, and Education as well as find time to feel?
I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I am standing at the foot of a mountain. Only this mountain is not beautiful.
It's blocking the Sun from shining completely and purely and fully. My heart is crying out for sunlight!
Can you help me?
I need to somehow find a few textbooks. For History of Western Civilizations.
Study dates are such a blessing; I love the chance to simply spend time with loved ones.
It helps me accomplish things when I see others doing the same thing! Oh, and if you ever wanna sit down and help me brainstorm or something, I've got plenty of that to do. Can't do the homework help thing? Encourage me! I'd love love love to hear some words telling me that this is worth it, that I can do it, that I better get on top of things. Guys, accountability. Seriously. If you see me slacking off, tell me! I am not afraid if you get in my face. It makes me adore you that much more! Lastly, pray. If you think of it...pray. Pray that I would be consistently organized. Pray that I would prioritize my time. Pray that God capture my heart amidst all the panic and busyness of school and work and relationships. Pray that God be glorified through me!
It kinda feels pathetic to be reaching out like this. It feels like I have to because I am not good enough on my own. I see all my friends balancing more things than I am, and I see them conquering too! I wonder why can't I be like them? Then I remember, God has blessed me with YOU! I want to support, lift up, encourage, and point you to Christ! Let me know if I can be praying for you. Helping in anyway.
I love you dear brothers and sisters!
Sometimes I look at others and also see that it seems so easy for them to balance all those things and somewhere in my mind there is doubt that I can't be like that. I promise that you will make it! Just stick in there, it WILL be worth it in the end:D
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