illuminate

In my closet, I close my eyes and hide; 

the darkness is the perfect place to disguise my tears, 

and the ugliness I feel inside. 

An Old Friend calls to me,

 beckoning my attention, 

inviting me back to the familiar addiction. 

The memories raise the hairs on the back of my neck, 

my arms crawl with anticipation; 

oh, how sweet it will feel to hold you in my hands again. 

My head drops into my hands and I clutch my pen tightly. 

This could be what separates flesh from bone tonight.

To feel your touch on my arms sends cold heat surging over my body and my stomach turns over. 

Gentle and soft, like a whisper or a leaf falling, did you have to come back now?

 The only light to illuminate this hole is trickling in from the space between the door and the wall. 

There isn't so much as a flicker inside this heart tonight.
7-26-10